Maybe i shouldn't give up trying.

12 February 2014


It's another sleepless night, back to blog since I've got nothing to do. 

Alright, this will be a super long articles because i'm trying to express my feelings out tonight. Well, I should have sleep earlier for a healthier body and skin,but i failed. Hate being alone in the night, memories keep spinning in my head. The good one,the bad one. As usual.. 

Maybe i should learn how to quiet my mind, there's too many voices inside my head. A lot of people around me said that i overstressed myself all the time. But i just can't stop thinking, i worried about everything. Over-thinking is what ruined me.

I don't remember when is the last time i blog about my own stuff. 
Yea i know, recently my blog is now full of advertorial posts which most of the readers is not interested with, hahahaha! I'm sorry my readers, that's not what i want to. I always claim that i was busy.. don't have time to update my blog..this and that..well, these are all excuses! 

In fact.. I'm lost, i think i lost my passion to blog, i found nothing to blog about, i think a lot before i wanted to blog about something and ended up i publish nothing, LOL! I don't know what's the things that stopping me, maybe I'm the only one who stopping myself. i re-read all my previous articles just now and i started to think "How come i got so much to blog about one -.-" …I blogged about everything last time! Sigh, But now i'm different, i consider before i publish any posts. I don't feel like showing people my weaknesses,  I'm afraid perhaps. So i guess that's the reason of why i don't have any updates recently.

As a blogger, i should keep my blog alive/updates, but i didn't. 
Every night when i'm home, the only things i do is just Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
I do open my blog and check about my stats sometimes, but when i feel like create a new post..my mind goes blank. AGRHHHH, How could that be? I don't know how to start, what to blog, what to blog with… *what a joke* So what i do is just go back to Facebook and scrolling, LOL!

You know what, I'm going through a hard time, I can't express my true feeling, i've no idea how to explain it out. I'm a very emotional person. I’ve noticed that I have this awful habit of masking how I truly feel or forcing myself to feel differently long time ago. I constantly have to remind myself that I am a human being and that it’s okay to feel bad sometimes. No one is positive every second of every day.

But seriously.. trying to convince myself that I'm fine when I'm not will only make me feel worse.  Whenever I go through some sort of fallout, whether it’s with a friend or a love interest, I will just immediately cover the wound by telling myself that I’m over that person and they mean nothing to me anymore. I just smile and tell everyone I’m over it.

I know that's not healthy, i should open up to people..But i have hard times telling people how i feel.
I wish there's someone who can read my mind 100% and help me up now.What can i do?
…………...I need some motivations

我想说,要经营一个部落格还真是不容易,一没更新Traffic就跌个不像样。
曾经写部落格是我的兴趣,也是我的职业,但是少了推动力还真是蛮辛苦的。
不知道为什么以前可以毫不犹疑的把生活点滴都PO在部落格里,但是如今的我..脑子里好多顾虑,不知道什么该说,什么不该说,与其把伤疤让人看倒不如把它东西收在心里。所以久而久之都不知道可以PO些什么了。但是,我不想放弃我的部落格啊!

最近真的很压力,前几天我崩溃的哭了。但是流泪又能怎样呢,问题还是存在的。
朋友的爸爸帮我看掌纹..他说我应该放松自己,别想太多,我做人太压力了,再这样下去会影响健康。可是我真的控制不了自己,每天总会想些有的没的,每天想该怎么做更好,怎样赚更多钱,怎样好好发展自己的事业,怎样才可以有自立的能力。

朋友告诉我说我这样做人很累,我还年轻,不该想那么多的。
但是我内心有太多恐惧,太多担忧,好怕自己变老就没有那个魄力,好怕被人看不起,好怕被人抛弃,好怕差落人后,好像有独立的能力。

是不是想太多啊,这个坏习惯还真不知道怎么改。


我有点累了…..正能量,你在哪里?





21 comments:

  1. Hey Karen, you have to share your feeling to someone. Don't keep it yourself :) you will feel suffocated if you don't share everything out :) maybe you can write a long long post to express your feelings perhaps it makes you better?:)

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    Replies
    1. i don't know if i'm getting this message right, but here goes.
      I ditto with Cheryl. If you would however prefer a less public display than what an online blog may create, you may opt for a more private method that is to write it as a letter to yourself, so that way, you can pour out your frustrations, your fears, dreams, goals and hopes in detail without the fear of others listening in on your thoughts. My suggestion would be write the letter as if it was being written from someone important......, that you would believe their words. For example...it could be your loved ones, mom or dad, best friend, grand parents, even a brother or sister. Whichever the case, choose one person.
      Write the letter to yourself as if that person in right in front of you, speaking to you directly.
      What is it that they would say to you if they knew how terrible you felt, or about the problems/frustrations you are facing. write it down.

      For example....i would start the letter like this...

      Dear Henry,
      You may not know it but you inspire many people around you.............etc etc...

      Take a good half an hour to write it out. When you are done, put the letter into an envelope and seal it up. Attention the letter to yourself.

      And in the future, whenever you feel the same way again, i want you to open this letter and read it.

      Believe me it works. :D
      That's my 2 cents~

      And if all else fails, pick up your favourite booze and ......... [i leave the rest to your imagination]
      . ;) Cheerio

      Delete
  2. 看完了,真的很长����。其实呢,你这个问题我也遇过,瞬间瓶颈,整个人迷茫,找不到方向。解决的方法呢,写下去就对了,写着写着,感觉就会回来的,加油!!������

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    Replies
    1. 谢谢你。你说得对,写着写着感觉就回来了。😄

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  3. hi, Karen. 很开心再看到你的部落!其实你已经很棒了!每个人都会拥有自己的想法,看法以及做法。这三法,却来自一种东西,那就是心态。若你的心态是正面的,那你的三法便是朝着正面地去进行。若心态是疲惫或反面,你的三法便是消极的!就套以前的话,人生必定有起伏,只看我们怎样去面对以及看开。其实正能量是来自自己,以前的你,让我感觉到你的正能量是来自于健身,写部落以及和朋友逛街聊天。或许你能从这方面着手,或可以放自己一个假,听听音乐,按摩等等。至于你的想法或心底话,我想你可以和你最明白你的朋友分享喔!我的老师说心态决定我们的3法!若你心态是正面的,一切都会是正面。就好像一本著名的书《秘密Secret》所说的吸引力法则。当一个人想好的,一切就会是好的!所以加油!!:)

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  4. hey karen,where do u promote yourself at night?would want to see u in person thr..we can help u..

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  5. Sometimes or Mind is in war with our heart,
    Mind knows that We need to forget something.
    but Our heart still keeping it.

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  7. 最好的quiet your mind , 就是静坐。或许你不知道, 懂得静, 才能更清明的看这个美丽的世界。

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  9. Blog for a service to others. How your blog going to help others ?

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  10. Hey Karen, I think it's important to open up to someone, whether you are going to do it through blog or not. Important is the need to allow yourself to be comfortable! Take care!

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  11. Hi Karen , this is the first time I read your blog. And I feel interested on your blog. First, from this post, I can see that you are lost, and I guess there are something that troubles you, or something happened that hurt you which causes you become different as u said you lost ur passion and more. Do you mind to tell me what happen? I am a blogger too, I used to provide advise and guideline to my friends and readers, I will make sure it will be P&C if you willing to share your hardships with me and I willing to listen about ur hardship because I learned more based on others experienced, you may have a look in my blog before you decide to share me ur experienced , but my blog did not have nice decoration like others... My blog is just sharing though.
    Kelvinmelody.blogspot.com

    My email will he : kelvinmelody94@gmail.com

    If you didt email me, I hope you can passed through ur hardship too haha

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    Replies
    1. is not ok to be ok.

      Delete
    2. Happy Valentine Day

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  12. Same goes to me :( Motivation has lost! Now I log in blogger just to see other people's post. Since you said you always facebook, twitter and etc. Why don't you try to use Dayre? :) It's much easier! Anyway, I'll wait you to update your blog. Take it easy ;)

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  13. 我也變得像你一樣
    對部落格的熱忱,隨著時間,同時我也相信隨著年齡的增長 , 文章逐漸減少。。。
    或許,會不會是因為你有了一定的人氣,如果每一個social app都是個人的東西,這樣會不會覺得個人私隱空間變得少之又少了?
    每個人都有優缺點 部落格總會是最好的backup “place" 讓你發洩的好地方
    現實找不到人訴苦,po上來 ,至少你還有一班支持你的網友 。。雖然不是很具體的正能量,但我相信,在這裡你還是可以找到它的。 至少,心靈上你會感到一定的安慰?!?

    看你的instagram 你的行程滿滿 ,或許 你真的不懂該寫什麽的時候 ,也許你可以寫小”另類“的部落格? 像餐廳、美食介紹,血拼之旅 ,旅遊介紹等?

    人生總沒有完美 , 做每一樣事情盡你全力就對得起自己了。
    加油!
    情人節快樂!

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  14. just say 1 night how much ah

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  15. Go pick up some new hobbies. Let it be singing, dancing, or anything that could be a channel to express your feeling. Just do anything that makes you feel right. Go for an art class! or even join some pastry making classes if you got all the time. Learn how to swim if you don't know how to swim or even write a guide post such as 'All the jogging track you must run' and etc. You can even try to travel to Sabah or Sarawak if you want to get away from all the hectic life or big cities. Above all, don't give up in your passion but let yourself know that all of these are temporary. Yes the frequent of publish post does decrease as we grow in life but quality is always better than quantity.

    Lastly, try not to think that you're giving up but instead try to look at it as you're making the decision which is right for yourself.

    All the best.
    Good Luck

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  16. Please don't give up, i read all your fitness posts. You're such an inspiration
    Don't stop blogging

    xoxo

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