12 February 2014
It's another sleepless night, back to blog since I've got nothing to do.
Alright, this will be a super long articles because i'm trying to express my feelings out tonight. Well, I should have sleep earlier for a healthier body and skin,but i failed. Hate being alone in the night, memories keep spinning in my head. The good one,the bad one. As usual..
Maybe i should learn how to quiet my mind, there's too many voices inside my head. A lot of people around me said that i overstressed myself all the time. But i just can't stop thinking, i worried about everything. Over-thinking is what ruined me.
I don't remember when is the last time i blog about my own stuff.
Yea i know, recently my blog is now full of advertorial posts which most of the readers is not interested with, hahahaha! I'm sorry my readers, that's not what i want to. I always claim that i was busy.. don't have time to update my blog..this and that..well, these are all excuses!
In fact.. I'm lost, i think i lost my passion to blog, i found nothing to blog about, i think a lot before i wanted to blog about something and ended up i publish nothing, LOL! I don't know what's the things that stopping me, maybe I'm the only one who stopping myself. i re-read all my previous articles just now and i started to think "How come i got so much to blog about one -.-" …I blogged about everything last time! Sigh, But now i'm different, i consider before i publish any posts. I don't feel like showing people my weaknesses, I'm afraid perhaps. So i guess that's the reason of why i don't have any updates recently.
As a blogger, i should keep my blog alive/updates, but i didn't.
Every night when i'm home, the only things i do is just Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
I do open my blog and check about my stats sometimes, but when i feel like create a new post..my mind goes blank. AGRHHHH, How could that be? I don't know how to start, what to blog, what to blog with… *what a joke* So what i do is just go back to Facebook and scrolling, LOL!
You know what, I'm going through a hard time, I can't express my true feeling, i've no idea how to explain it out. I'm a very emotional person. I’ve noticed that I have this awful habit of masking how I truly feel or forcing myself to feel differently long time ago. I constantly have to remind myself that I am a human being and that it’s okay to feel bad sometimes. No one is positive every second of every day.
But seriously.. trying to convince myself that I'm fine when I'm not will only make me feel worse. Whenever I go through some sort of fallout, whether it’s with a friend or a love interest, I will just immediately cover the wound by telling myself that I’m over that person and they mean nothing to me anymore. I just smile and tell everyone I’m over it.
I know that's not healthy, i should open up to people..But i have hard times telling people how i feel.
I wish there's someone who can read my mind 100% and help me up now.What can i do?
…………...I need some motivations.