21 April 2014
I know i shouldn't think that much, i know i shouldn't be so emo. That's too much. I know already had someone beside me, trying so hard to accompany me, cheer me up. But i just can't help myself from thinking, crying, dying. It's too much pain to bare. I can stop talking & mentioning about this, but deep inside..i can't. Memories kills. I reread your blog i asked you to create few years back just now. I know i shouldn't read it, but i really miss how things used to be. All the good and the bad memories we had. That's too deep, too deep. I can't forget. I rather accept the fact that we'd already broke up…not contacting each other than you're forever gone. I really hate what happened right now, but i can do nothing, nothing. You're the reason why and who i am today. But now, i feel so weak.
I don't know who can i talk to right now, he went to class. Even if he's here..i can't tell him. I'm tired of crying in front of people, i hate showing my weaknesses in front of others. But i'm dying inside, i can't stop myself from thinking. Sometimes, i can hold my tears from falling down, but sometimes i can't stop myself from crying..You have a special place in my heart, you're always on my mind, this is about to tear me apart. But i don't wanna forget every single thing we had. It's almost two weeks already, i waited and waited for you to talk to me. I'm wondering, where are you… Why didn't you come see me in my dream? I wanna talk to you, so badly.